"the fine print" by Madeleine Simmons



i.



we read the fine print

on the back of emergency contraceptives

we have to

we’ve given up on taking pills

and hoping things will turn out alright

and as soon as we start

it becomes a communal investigation

a store clerk, along with women passing by joined in

and soon, we’re not just reading the fine print closely

for my friend

we’re reading closely for ourselves

and sure enough, we come to find the answers

we were looking for but didn’t want

the pills aren’t effective if you’re over 165 pounds

always stipulations when you’re not the right kind of woman

sighing, we gathered to regroup

to think of alternative solutions

but by then, it was too late; we had strayed from each other

we begin to try and look for each other

but by then it was too late

we had lost ourselves in between

the lines of the fine print



ii.



cold, alone, we lie and wait on sterilized tables for doctors

but are told to wait instead for the politicians to decide our fates



away from us, the doctors and nurses congregate and mumble

busy reading the fine print seeing what legislators have allowed them to practice



how long do they have to wait for our bodies to become so infected, so death ridden, to treat us?

how long must they wait until a heartbeat has stopped to see whose heart has stopped beating first?



too busy to even spare a glance at us, but maybe that’s where we really are

we must all be lingering between the lines of the fine print of laws now



lost in laws written in our blood and passed by men whose fingerprints defile our bodies



scattering the fines and penalties onto us to pay with our bodies

our bodies that pile mountains high in front of the Supreme Court



so make sure to read the fine print

imprinting itself all over your body



fingerprints litter our bodies

get your hands off my body



get your bans off our bodies



"digging a hole to china" by Madeleine Simmons



It’s outrageous the things they tell you that you can do as a child, and it’s outrageous how much you still want to believe them, even when you’re all grown up. In my yard, there remains a large divot of what used to be my pride and joy; it was my nine-to-five work day, as I slaved away to make ends meet where they never began. I was so persistent that I could be the one to finally achieve this task handed to so many before me. I never thought about how I, with a rusted shovel, could battle against the molten core of the earth’s center, nor did it cross my mind that I would in fact end up somewhere off the coast of Madagascar, greeted by the waves of the Indian Ocean. Those things never crossed my mind because they had never mattered. What mattered was this task you had bestowed upon me, to dig, to dig, to dig, a way into your heart, to find a way not to China but into a lion’s den so i could bring you them, something you could be proud of. So I dug to find it, but all I found was the pipe to our house’s water supply. Instead of putting to a halt my activities, I burrowed through, hitting it hard enough to slice it through. And I wished it had caused a flood to wash me away, as if I had hit the Indian Ocean. But it was just like you, a hollow artery dried of its remains with no more energy left to give me any type of affirmation.





"Pill bag" by Madeleine Simmons



You think it’s cute

that I have a Pill Bag



I think it’s cute that you don’t know

what the definition of cute is



You call it cute

an angel throwing diamonds into clouds

a great metaphor for what it’s like

every time I have to take pills



I call you out because

screw you for thinking my pain condition is

some funny inside joke, cause the only thing inside

is the dozen or so pills I have to take a day



You act surprised

saying you’re sorry that I feel that way

that I should add “chill pill” to the list, as if

all these pills have somehow

made other problems leave



for the first time in a long time

I act myself

letting know you know that saying and doing

are separate but

saying these act



you’re done with this conversation



I’m done with you

all of you who tell me:



get over it

You don't look sick

You just made this up